Yeah, that word “change” has been thrown around a lot lately. It was our NOW POTUS Barack Obama’s calling card during his 1st campaign. It worked too. There was SO much wrong with our country during the previous president’s administration. Our country needed change and we got it, even though many won’t admit it. This is not a political blog though. I won’t usually address politics here. Too messy. The point I’m trying to address, however, is CHANGE.
This past weekend was a very rough weekend for me. It was a rough 2 days or so. I guess every bad financial decision I’ve ever made came home to roost. It was SO overwhelming, in fact, that I cried. I really did. I cried for a good 5-10 minutes. It was rough. Everything came crashing down at the same time. I couldn’t handle it. I was defeated and wanted to straight give up. At the time of the breakdown, my wife was on the phone with me. God bless her heart. She tried her best to not let me wallow in my own self pity and I appreciate her and her effort to encourage me. As much as she tried though, my thoughts still consumed me, the weight of my issues was still settling on my shoulders. After a while, I stopped crying, wiped my face and tried to continue on with my day. The rest of the weekend wasn’t all that great. I had to work and missed my son’s birthday party. Made some bad decisions regarding my choir’s song selections and had to make adjustments on the fly. And I suffered a HUMILIATING loss in my NFL Fantasy League. Yeah, when it rains, it pours, right? At that point, I decided I needed to make a change.
And I mean SERIOUS WHOLESALE changes. I’m not really happy with ANYTHING that’s going on with me right now. My life is totally off kilter. My health is suffering. My mental is outta whack. Everything is a complete fog. I’ve even fell off with my daily Bible study (which may be the actual root of the problem). So everything has to change. I’m sick of feeling the way I do. I need to change way I eat, the way I work. I need to consult the Lord about EVERYTHING I do, and I need to make sure that when I come TO Him, that I’M right within. I can’t very well go to God requesting things and I haven’t been keeping up MY end of the bargain. How hypocritical would that be of me. It’s a slap in God’s face. Let’s just walk through this for a sec:
Seek ye 1st – FIRST – the Kingdom of AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, and all these things (desires of your heart) will be added unto you
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
I’m so outta whack, I can barely supply my family with what they NEED, let alone what they WANT. Bottom line is this: I’m getting older, and I can’t keep treading water like I have time on this Earth to do whatever the hell I want with no repercussions. I have children that need to be taken care of, a wife that needs to be taken care of, and future grandchildren to leave a legacy for. I’m tired of life the way it is. I’m tired of always seeing negative. I’m sick of crying, I’m sick of worrying, Change comes with me – I can’t rely on other people to change FOR me, or to change ME for that matter. It’s gotta happen sooner than later.
Not all change is good, they say. I beg to differ. I can’t go any lower than my current state. All I have left is UP! A change is gonna come.